Bimditbest Jammifnilyarp is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, flying snail.

Bimditbest Jammifnilyarp created carbon eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bimditbest Jammifnilyarp, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Bimditbest Jammifnilyarp, she will turn you into a puffin.

Bimditbest Jammifnilyarp's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Bimditbest Jammifnilyarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Never mention squirrels.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Never look in ponds.