Vonxinhon is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, conceited fish.

Vonxinhon created snails three billion years ago.

If you believe in Vonxinhon, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Vonxinhon, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Vonxinhon's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Vonxinhon's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear lead on your body.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.