Abtitwon is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, all-knowing zebra.

Abtitwon created the Milkyway seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Abtitwon, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Abtitwon, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Abtitwon's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Abtitwon's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Worship no other gods but Abtitwon.

5. Hide from white badgers for they are unholy.