Fargedjam is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, fussy seal.

Fargedjam created the Milkyway six million years ago.

If you believe in Fargedjam, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Fargedjam, she will send you a sign.

Fargedjam's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Fargedjam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never look at stars.

5. Do not wear zinc on your body.