Kamwikkim is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, temperamental parrot.

Kamwikkim created the planet Mars six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamwikkim, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Kamwikkim, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Kamwikkim's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Kamwikkim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Kamwikkim.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not take Kamwikkim's name in vain.