Quagbutved is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, staggering duck.

Quagbutved created everything that exists eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Quagbutved, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quagbutved, she will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Quagbutved's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Quagbutved's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never hurt snails.