Xembestfas is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, sage cobra.

Xembestfas created tapeworms two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xembestfas, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Xembestfas, he will turn you into a frog.

Xembestfas' most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Xembestfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about rats.

2. Do not speak about spinach.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Never laugh in the presence of sharks.

5. Never play with disobedient children.