Bembonkgon is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, strong squirrel.

Bembonkgon created the Sol system six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bembonkgon, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bembonkgon, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bembonkgon's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bembonkgon's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

3. Run away if eight squirrels approach from the south.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Never eat aubergines.