Yokkopraw is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful pigeon.

Yokkopraw created Africa five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yokkopraw, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Yokkopraw, she will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Yokkopraw's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Yokkopraw's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear yellow trousers.

2. Never feed bananas to goats while wearing gray rings.

3. You must pray to Yokkopraw eight times a day.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.