Sattimsat is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, loving fly.

Sattimsat created Europe eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sattimsat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Sattimsat, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Sattimsat's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Sattimsat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Do not shave your back.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed wheat to capybaras while wearing black jumpers.