Batvillam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthinking salamander.

Batvillam created the Black Eye Galaxy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Batvillam, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Batvillam, it will turn you into a rock.

Batvillam's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Batvillam's Holy Commandments

1. Horses are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never write about nebulae.

4. Batvillam loves pigs, so they must be honoured.

5. Always stare at clouds.