Stragkamminpitwontam is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, fussy lobster.

Stragkamminpitwontam created parasitic wasps five million years ago.

If you believe in Stragkamminpitwontam, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stragkamminpitwontam, he will not care at all.

Stragkamminpitwontam's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Stragkamminpitwontam's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt frogs.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Hide if six tapirs approach from the north.

4. Stragkamminpitwontam loves otters, so they must be honoured.

5. Never look in ponds.