Larnbigtun is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, temperamental octopus.

Larnbigtun created the Black Eye Galaxy three million years ago.

If you believe in Larnbigtun, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Larnbigtun, he will have a low opinion of you.

Larnbigtun's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Larnbigtun's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnbigtun.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. You must love Larnbigtun.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Fast once a month.