Bimhogvon is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, boastful pig.

Bimhogvon created Asia two million years ago.

If you believe in Bimhogvon, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Bimhogvon, he will be mildly annoyed.

Bimhogvon's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Bimhogvon's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your head.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Never look in ponds.