Sawsomflan is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, thoughtless snake.

Sawsomflan created the Sun four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sawsomflan, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawsomflan, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Sawsomflan's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Sawsomflan's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat apples.

2. Hide from mauve grasshopers for they are unholy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never skip in the presence of ducks.