Lamcentargkap Zigfemyik Pakfodtag is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, strong manatee.

Lamcentargkap Zigfemyik Pakfodtag created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamcentargkap Zigfemyik Pakfodtag, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Lamcentargkap Zigfemyik Pakfodtag, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Lamcentargkap Zigfemyik Pakfodtag's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Lamcentargkap Zigfemyik Pakfodtag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed peanuts to ants while wearing orange scarves.

2. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

3. Do not take Lamcentargkap Zigfemyik Pakfodtag's name in vain.

4. Do not drink water in purple rooms.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.