Lipbafshav Onthivgab is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, happy armadillo.

Lipbafshav Onthivgab created the Cigar Galaxy five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lipbafshav Onthivgab, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lipbafshav Onthivgab, she will laugh at you.

Lipbafshav Onthivgab's most sacred site is Basalorum in Sweden.

Lipbafshav Onthivgab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three cats approach from the north.

2. Doves are not to be trusted.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Lipbafshav Onthivgab.

4. Do not eat peas.

5. Never wear kilts.