Bessbasthinhog is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, stupid hydra.

Bessbasthinhog created the Large Magellanic Cloud twelve years ago.

If you believe in Bessbasthinhog, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bessbasthinhog, he will destroy your home solar system.

Bessbasthinhog's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Bessbasthinhog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear iron on your body.

2. Always obey Bessbasthinhog's priests.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate foxes.

5. Respect your elders.