Kadgidgub Metbunarnvin is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humorless finch.

Kadgidgub Metbunarnvin created a strange quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadgidgub Metbunarnvin, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kadgidgub Metbunarnvin, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Kadgidgub Metbunarnvin's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Kadgidgub Metbunarnvin's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if three grasshopers approach from the south.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Never talk about fire.