Cutsagbom is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, almighty turtle.

Cutsagbom created the planet Jupiter six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cutsagbom, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cutsagbom, he will have a very low opinion of you.

Cutsagbom's most sacred site is Sarti in Greece.

Cutsagbom's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention ducks.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about otters.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away if three dogs approach from the east.