Sakditdavarpbaffudfot is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, amazing pigeon.

Sakditdavarpbaffudfot created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakditdavarpbaffudfot, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Sakditdavarpbaffudfot, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Sakditdavarpbaffudfot's most sacred site is Hoddom in Scotland.

Sakditdavarpbaffudfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always help gulls in need.

2. Never paint your face white.

3. Always make sure there are no ducks in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never think ill of sick otters.