Hugguncem is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, awe-inspiring shrew.

Hugguncem created water nine million years ago.

If you believe in Hugguncem, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hugguncem, she will boil you in a big pot.

Hugguncem's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Hugguncem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt hamsters.

2. Run away from white grasshopers, for they are unholy.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Hugguncem.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Respect your elders.