Garyattrilbif is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, proud squirrel.

Garyattrilbif created a top quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Garyattrilbif, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Garyattrilbif, she will boil you in a big pot.

Garyattrilbif's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Garyattrilbif's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Respect your elders.