Podbarntun Flaggonbon Kemjigjig is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, witty hummingbird.

Podbarntun Flaggonbon Kemjigjig created tapeworms nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Podbarntun Flaggonbon Kemjigjig, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Podbarntun Flaggonbon Kemjigjig, he will jump up and down on your head.

Podbarntun Flaggonbon Kemjigjig's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Podbarntun Flaggonbon Kemjigjig's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Run away if three cats approach from the south.

3. Never laugh in the presence of mites.

4. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Always make sure there are no moths in a building before entering it.