Dotsawlitwit is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, loving lobster.

Dotsawlitwit created viruses three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dotsawlitwit, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dotsawlitwit, it will throw large rocks at you.

Dotsawlitwit's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Dotsawlitwit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never write about cell theory.

4. Never look at planets.

5. Never feed turnips to frogs while wearing indigo coats.