Bitzimlim is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, humane bear.

Bitzimlim created snails nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitzimlim, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Bitzimlim, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Bitzimlim's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Bitzimlim's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Never go into magenta rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no mice in a building before entering it.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.