Zimfatstan is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, kind snake.

Zimfatstan created tapeworms eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zimfatstan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zimfatstan, it will turn you into a mouse.

Zimfatstan's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Zimfatstan's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never talk about shrews.

3. Always help hamsters.

4. Always obey Zimfatstan's priests.

5. Do not speak about beans.