Lamhomhit is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, almighty rat.

Lamhomhit created energy three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamhomhit, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Lamhomhit, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Lamhomhit's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Lamhomhit's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat aardvarks with great respect.

2. Do not dye your hair black.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.