Arfrulvan Sisdamgonrapyoglipappag is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, self-assured yak.

Arfrulvan Sisdamgonrapyoglipappag created light seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Arfrulvan Sisdamgonrapyoglipappag, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Arfrulvan Sisdamgonrapyoglipappag, she will be mildly annoyed.

Arfrulvan Sisdamgonrapyoglipappag's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Arfrulvan Sisdamgonrapyoglipappag's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Arfrulvan Sisdamgonrapyoglipappag.

4. Do not shave your face.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Arfrulvan Sisdamgonrapyoglipappag.