Zanfosspak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, astonishing naga.

Zanfosspak created an up quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zanfosspak, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zanfosspak, she will turn you into a duck.

Zanfosspak's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Zanfosspak's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bananas to capybaras while wearing magenta shoes.

2. Retreat if seven monkeys approach from the west.

3. Never think ill of sick hamsters.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Always wear blue.