Fagfitbonk is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, staggering dolphin.

Fagfitbonk created the Sunflower Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fagfitbonk, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fagfitbonk, he will jump up and down on your head.

Fagfitbonk's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Fagfitbonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always make sure there are no snails in a room before entering it.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Fagfitbonk on top of all buildings.

5. Do not trade with those who eat parsnips.