Jappagsadbuscimtagvanfon is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, kind yak.

Jappagsadbuscimtagvanfon created light four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jappagsadbuscimtagvanfon, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Jappagsadbuscimtagvanfon, he will turn you into a rat.

Jappagsadbuscimtagvanfon's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Jappagsadbuscimtagvanfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not hurt ants.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never wear boots.