Ortafpom is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, ruthless chinchilla.

Ortafpom created the Andromeda Galaxy three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ortafpom, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Ortafpom, she will turn you into a worm.

Ortafpom's most sacred site is Estedt in Germany.

Ortafpom's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about moons.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Ortafpom.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. You must never eat beans.