Mitzodjab is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, tiresome cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Mitzodjab created everything that exists six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mitzodjab, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Mitzodjab, he will come to you in dreams.

Mitzodjab's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Mitzodjab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt whales.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Mitzodjab.

3. Always help dogs.

4. Put Mitzodjab first in all things.

5. Feed all hungry moths.