Lakcidfetfarnfidpidhan is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, happy scorpion.

Lakcidfetfarnfidpidhan created snails four billion years ago.

If you believe in Lakcidfetfarnfidpidhan, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Lakcidfetfarnfidpidhan, he will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Lakcidfetfarnfidpidhan's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Lakcidfetfarnfidpidhan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Always look after injured bats.

4. You must pray to Lakcidfetfarnfidpidhan four times a day.

5. Lakcidfetfarnfidpidhan loves shrews, so they must be honoured.