Sawyarpas is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, omnipotent walrus.

Sawyarpas created the Sol system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Sawyarpas, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Sawyarpas, it will not care.

Sawyarpas' most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Sawyarpas' Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not hurt ducks.

3. Never feed figs to monkeys while wearing yellow shorts.

4. Otters are not to be trusted.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.