Bem is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, fussy owl.

Bem created the Small Magellanic Cloud three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bem, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bem, it will not care.

Bem's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Bem's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never talk about planets.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink alcohol.