Yattfon is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, irritating dugong.

Yattfon created the planet Mars two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yattfon, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yattfon, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Yattfon's most sacred site is Gorbio in France.

Yattfon's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

4. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.