Butwabben is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, clever gerbil.

Butwabben created the Sun four million years ago.

If you believe in Butwabben, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Butwabben, she will jump up and down on your head.

Butwabben's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Butwabben's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees in need.

2. Butwabben must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not commit murder.