Xentamlop is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unfair monkey.

Xentamlop created the Sombrero Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xentamlop, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xentamlop, he will turn you into a plant.

Xentamlop's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Xentamlop's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet turtles for they are unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. You must love Xentamlop.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Do not listen to music.