Yarpmatgabtar Dotjinzan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, unjust crab.

Yarpmatgabtar Dotjinzan created energy twelve years ago.

If you believe in Yarpmatgabtar Dotjinzan, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yarpmatgabtar Dotjinzan, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yarpmatgabtar Dotjinzan's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Yarpmatgabtar Dotjinzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Rats are not to be trusted.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Respect your elders.