Jabsasgep is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, quiet mink.

Jabsasgep created dark matter seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jabsasgep, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Jabsasgep, she will send two she bears to sort you out.

Jabsasgep's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Jabsasgep's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Do not trade with those who eat lemons.

5. Never sit near doves.