Gudwegbess is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, dishonourable clam.

Gudwegbess created time and space eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gudwegbess, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gudwegbess, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Gudwegbess' most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gudwegbess' Holy Commandments

1. Gulls are not to be trusted.

2. Hide from cyan foxes for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Never talk about asteroids.

5. Put Gudwegbess first in all things.