Hotlikflab is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unsympathetic bear.

Hotlikflab created a down quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Hotlikflab, he will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hotlikflab, he will turn you into a rock.

Hotlikflab's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Hotlikflab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

4. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

5. Hide from white goats for they are unholy.