Bagnillnart is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, resourceful frog.

Bagnillnart created dark matter nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bagnillnart, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bagnillnart, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bagnillnart's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Bagnillnart's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick badgers.

2. Never wear corsets.

3. Never jump in holy places.

4. Never paint your legs mauve.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.