Teenloplat is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, merciful tortoise.

Teenloplat created tapeworms six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Teenloplat, it will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Teenloplat, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Teenloplat's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Teenloplat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never paint your hands indigo.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.