Yakwotril is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, stupid shark.

Yakwotril created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Yakwotril, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Yakwotril, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Yakwotril's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Yakwotril's Holy Commandments

1. Always help shrews.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always look after injured aardvarks.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never think ill of sick bats.