Volmotlog is a god.

It takes the form of a large, dishonourable octopus.

Volmotlog created the Sun three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Volmotlog, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Volmotlog, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Volmotlog's most sacred site is Didy in Madagascar.

Volmotlog's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bread.

2. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

3. Always wear orange.

4. Always help sharks.

5. Always treat ants with great respect.