Flapgovnul Yarlzakvon Cipflabyim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, thoughtless newt.

Flapgovnul Yarlzakvon Cipflabyim created Africa three billion years ago.

If you believe in Flapgovnul Yarlzakvon Cipflabyim, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Flapgovnul Yarlzakvon Cipflabyim, it will turn you into a sheep.

Flapgovnul Yarlzakvon Cipflabyim's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Flapgovnul Yarlzakvon Cipflabyim's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if five birds approach from the north.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Hide from black manatees for they are unholy.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Run away if four horses approach from the east.