Tofnullrut Raptargsid is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, witless newt.

Tofnullrut Raptargsid created Asia two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofnullrut Raptargsid, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tofnullrut Raptargsid, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tofnullrut Raptargsid's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Tofnullrut Raptargsid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Run away from cyan seals, for they are unholy.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Always pray immersed in water.